Capital Q BBQ (Washington D.C.)

In keeping with the Washington DC tradition of putting out failed products, lets talk about D.C. BBQ.

Capital Q =  One word: YUCK!




This was by far THE most expensive BBQ I’ve ever had. $20!

Nothing was seasoned, they gave me the fattiest point of the brisket where there was little to no meat in it. The ribs were pure rubber and the texture was pretty bad too. The meat just stuck on the bone. The Potato Salad (or should I say mustard/mayo salad with potato garnishing) was awful. If you hate celery you’d really hate this ”Potato Salad”. I left the place without cleaning my plate.

They pride themselves on Texas BBQ. You know what I say to that? Texas BBQ my Ass! OK, they got a little write up in the Houston Chronicle, they serve Texas beverages like Shiner Bock and Dr. Pepper, and I saw a few Texas stickers here and there. To quote the former Texas Governor Ann Richards "You can put lipstick on a hog and call it Monique, but it is still a pig."

Just how D.C. does NOT know what’s best for our country, they also don’t know what's best for BBQ. They can keep their laws and their BBQ. I’ll be taking the first flight outta here. I spared you the pictures I took so I wouldn't spoil your appetite.


Capital Q will be receiving a 1 out of 5 stars

 

The Smoke House (San Antonio, Tx)

Wait wait! Don't worry! It's not the same Smoke House from Greenville, Al. That place was God Awful and would never last a day in San Antonio. It might last a few weeks in Houston or a few months in Dallas though. That Pitmaster should have been shot.

This particular blog entry is one of the rare blogging occasions where I actually have pictures from my outing.

This is me and Kathleen at The Smoke House.

 

This is me waiting in line. Lets keep the lusting to a minimum.

This is me coming back with the food.

This is me eating a rib with Kathleen.

When I do these "BBQ outings." I always order a few slices of brisket, a rib or two, and a sausage link. I will only get sides if they come with it. Sides are for the girls, the meat is for the men.

Brisket = no smoke ring? I know they smoke it, I watched them pull it out of the brick smoker! It was very "bla"...but not bad.

Ribs = Muy Bueno!

Sausage = Also, muy bueno! It had that snap/pop when you bite down breaking the casing.

All in all I would never go back. It's not because it was bad. The reason I would never go back is because there are too many better places to get BBQ. For instance I'd rather make it better in my backyard.


The Smokehouse will be receiving a  3.5 out of 5 stars.

Slidell BBQ Challange (Slidell, La)

 

Boys and girls, I just came back from my first BBQ competition in Slidell, La. Even though I did my research and took notes, I still made a handful of rookie mistakes. Overall I didn't do too bad for my first competition. While I spaced out and had my chicken in the smoker for too long, my ribs turned out great. I was a little disappointed with getting 5th place in Ribs but i can't complain too much being a rookie. Here is a small list I made that might help out other future rookies.

1.  Unless you live in the same town as the competition, set up a cot and sleeping bag and stay the night on the site. Setting up tents, chairs, smokers, etc at 5am sucked and I will not be doing that again.
2. Make a check list in an Excel Sheet. Even after I made the check list and edited it twice, I still forgot some things. Note: keep it saved and add to it every time.
3. Be prepared to spend some money. After an application fee, buying meat, other groceries, beer, and A LOT of shit at Academy (canopees, chairs, tables, etc...), before you know it you are broke.
4. Don't be dick competitor or a bad sport. It's nice to sample the goods of the other compeitors, swap secrets, etc... You also might learn something from somebody old.
5. Don't forget to garnish your styrofoam box.
6. You can never have too many tables. I brought 2 and could have used a few more.
7. After the day was done I was so red I looked like a white trash hillbilly from West Virginia. Bring some sunscreen.
8. Bring a vegetable or a piece of fruit with you. Even I was tired of BBQ.
9. Don't let the big rigs intimidate you. WSMs and Green Eggs can do just as good of job if not better than a pit with a hitch...I saw the scores...
10. Tell people you are from Texas. You will get the respect and street cred you deserve.

That's it for now. Overall I had a great time and was not expecting the day to be so exhausting. I don't know how the pros do this every weekend.

Yes they did misspell Colt 45s

My 5th place ribs...

Burns BBQ (Houston, Tx)

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Burns is the best BBQ in Houston. Period. Having said all that, I was NOT (N-O-T) floored. The Brisket and Sausage was incredible while the ribs were par.

If you are taking a road trip from Houston to Dallas to go boo the Cowboys and decide you are not eating at Sam's Restaurant (in Fairfield, Tx) but instead want BBQ, then I recommend that Burns is your stop. It's located in North Houston - Home of Matress Mack and Rex Gregory.

I have nothing to witty to add. This is not a fancy place. There is no college football memorabilia, no pictures with Texas celebrities like Nolan Ryan, and no Texas flag. Just a 500 square foot house with a handful of tables. All they got is great Brisket and Sausage. I had taken some pictures but alas they were lost...ak-ward...


:/


Burn's BBQ will be receiving a 4 out of 5 stars.